Women Fake It

Stop denying it, no judgment here. We all know it’s true at some point in your life (like my entire teenage years, because what teenager has a clue what they are doing……wait…..nevermind…..correction I was totally married before I crossed that line), but that really has nothing to do with this blog. I know, I know, you thought I was going to spill some juicy details about women and their love lives, but it was just my evil ploy to get you to come read my random thoughts of the day……

So, as I am driving to work this morning, on the radio they are having this contest. The DJ’s are talking to the woman that won and she states that “I am taking my kids to school and then going to work”. Female Dj says “So where do you work?” To which the contestant replies “just a consignment shop”. In efforts to not make it sounds less doom and gloom as the contestant had, female DJ replies “It’s not JUST a consignment shop, it’s A consignment shop, you get all the good deals first.”  Good attempt, but a fail.

I spend most of my shower, thinking of ways to solve all the world’s problems; and by world I mean my world, and by problems I mean all the things I need to do and what not. Doesn’t anyone else do this? No…maybe it’s just me. I mean what else do you do while you are in the shower? Nevermind, don’t answer that, because then we would be going back to the original topic of this blog and that’s not where I was headed, at least not right now, maybe tomorrow.

So I am in the shower thinking about all the things that we need to get done to get the house on the market. Then there is this stream of ADD thoughts that goes something like this; we need to get that……..so I need to pack that stuff up, man I don’t want to………how are we going to……..dang I forgot to take out the……..I need to make a list of…….how can I be almost 30 and not have a clue what the heck is going on in my life. Well now there’s a thought that stuck! So on the week’s eve of my 30^th, I decide to have this philosophical conversation, yes with myself (very profound I know), about the fact that somehow I am almost 30 and I have no idea what I am doing with my life.

Growing up I hated school, so at 18 the idea of 4 more years just wasn’t happening. It wasn’t mandatory, so I wasn’t going. With a slight brain in my head, I knew I needed to do something to make a living, so I went the way of the trades. “Beauty School” (which ps I hate that phrase, sounds like I am living in the movie Grease) was only 9 months if I went full time. So at 19 I was out in the real world, making the dough. I actually did pretty good business wise, but it never was for me. It was a means to an end. If you know me, I am not your typical valley girl stylist or way out there radical, I just like my jeans and t-shirts and pony tails. It was fun while it lasted, but I wasn’t really sad to see it go. After a move to the city, I went to work for a Psych Clinic. After one month, they fired the office manager and gave me the job! This is all great, except I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, sink or swim time. So I swam; I swam hard and I was a great swimmer. Then all the crazy just wears you down, so I went to a GI office to be there office manager. I loved it there. It was a brand new office (that looked like a spa in the waiting room), with two doctors that loved what they did and were all about their patients. And then the story of my life, we moved, again! With limited options in this small town, I went to work for the Assistant Superintendent of the school district. A job which I do actually love, but not one I ever saw myself having. My hubby, the wonderful Bovine Hunter, on the other hand has a “career”. One that I have moved all over the country for. He went to college and then back to college and then somewhere around $100,000 in debt later he has the career he has always wanted.

The point of this story is, I still have no idea what I want to do “when I grow up”, but that grown up stage seems to have arrived. We are in the process of moving again, hopefully for the last time and I have no idea what I will do when I return to NC, because I never had a career, I just followed Doug’s. Maybe that is my career, official follower, haha (do you watch the show The Following)! If I had it to do all over again, I would have went to nursing school. And yes I know that I could go back, but I still hate school, don’t want to sacrifice the time with our daughter and we have enough debit to pay back. So as I listen to the contestant say “just a” I went back to my solo conversation and wondered, will I always be “just a” job kind of person, “just” living day to day kind of person?