Wrecking Ball

I have this saying that 85% of life is confidence and the other 15% is knowing your stuff. I believe in this, whit confidence, you can figure out the rest. I have been a very confident person for a long time now and it always gets me where I need to be in life. Well a trip to the mall hit my confidence like a wrecking ball.

It's not that I haven't been a little over weight for a while. I saw it as a combination of having a baby and just getting older. You can't stay the size you were at 16 forever! I mean, if I were still that small people would think I had an eating disorder. So we get older and we pack on a few pounds. More to love, right? Maybe I could have stood to lose a few pounds, but hey I still felt sexy, so all was good!

I don't do scales, I just don't think they are healthy. What, you pick some arbitrary number that's supposed to represent "perfect" and just stress yourself trying to get that magic number to appear on the digital scale. Then, if and when you actually get there, you can't enjoy any food, because the diet you picked won't let you have anything but some horrible smelling "smoothie". Or lets say you don't make it, then that lovely scale of yours just starts flashing "loser" or "fat ass" at you instead of your goal weight (I swear that's what mine does). Yeah, it's totally healthy. The thing about being healthy is that it's half mental. If you are miserable worrying yourself about some number and pureed veggie drink or counting every calorie that goes in your mouth, well you are just setting yourself up for failure. You will convince yourself that you "can't" do it or that you "failed" yourself because that illusive number won't appear on the scale. Personally, I think my scale just doesn't know that number, programming problem I am sure. Really, who wants that self torture. I say throw out the scale, eat what you consider healthy and do what you need to have the body you want. Some people want bulk, so hit the gym. If you just want to feel good about being "normal" then do what you need to be your idea of normal.

Clearly, not a health freak or workoutaholic here, but here's what I think. If you can feel confident and feel sexy then that's the weight you need to be at. If your size 14 jeans make you feel like you have moves like Jagger, then rock it! Forget all that number BS and be what makes you feel beautiful. I would totally take Jennifer Aniston's body, if it came free with no effort involved, but we can't all be her. What we can all be is happy and feeling sexy and beautiful.

With all that being said, this is not where I am in life. I would love to say that I look great and feel sexy, but I just don't. Lately there is just a little too much shake with my fries! Partly left over from the baby, which didn't seem to bother me the first 17 months (go figure), but more likely it's the chocoholic problem I seem to have developed (thank you third trimester for making me like chocolate and then not taking it away with the baby). And so my exercise adventure begins! I was feeling all Jane Fonda when I started last night, right up until about, let's say sit up number......10 and then I realized exactly why I am "fat" and don't exercise. IT SUCKS!!! But onward I push, because by time I reach 30 (in 2.5 months YIKES) I want to feel my sexy self again. Maybe it will take a little longer, but that's my starting goal.

Guess that means I should stop blogging and do some exercises!